Posted by: lbnassar | July 7, 2010

Thoughts on Mortality

It seems that hitting fifty was more than just a personal milestone. On the plus side, 20+ years with my marriage partner, the kids are increasingly into separate lives from us, enough money to be comfortable, everyone in our family is healthy. On the minus side, my friends are aging too and the chances of losing someone near and dear every year increases.

A friend of mine who I thought I would have around for many more years died two weeks ago. In the back of my mind I was thinking we would have more time to develop our friendship, to have dinners and sail dates, to sit and knit together, to have dinner at the club or just a drink and “hi how are you” conversation. It is hard to believe that I am not going to walk into Peet’s and see her on a Saturday morning with a cool bag on the needles. My heart leapt with joy every time I saw her. I was so inspired and just happy and content to sit next to her.

Now, I think about (but do not dwell on) my remaining time here and my friends. The quality of my interactions and of my personal time – what I choose to do – has to increase. The people who are important to me, and even those on the periphery, deserve the best attention that I can give them. My family deserves my very best. My daughters deserve every good example I can set for them. My husband deserves all of the respect and love and support I can possibly muster up for him. It will not happen every moment, but I can practice.

Why is it that most of us walking in this dimension do not get this lesson until we are into the second half? And some never do.

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